I was recently reintroduced to an idea that I first learned about in college 10 years ago. Christians are claiming they’re “revirginized” after a divorce or breakup. HUH? First, there is an actual medical procedure you can undergo to physically do this, but these people are claiming it as an emotional state of being. The first place I heard the concept was in a program at my conservative college. I remember thinking that it was a ridiculous concept. The speaker had recently gone through a bad divorce and I think it was her way of starting over. But what about her children? If I had been them, I would have felt that, in some ways, my mom regretted having me and she wanted her body back to the way it was before me. Even if it was a bad marriage, there had to be some good times, otherwise you shouldn’t have gotten married. If it was a horrible marriage, you got some wonderful daughters out of the deal. Now that I’m married myself, I’m even more bothered by it.

Why would you want to relabel yourself with a term that came with fear of the unknown? The problem is multiple societies have place such a high value on female virginity, bringing on a huge gender double standard. There is no similar element for men. Sure, to a smaller effect, but history has so emphasized the importance of feminine virginity vs. male virginity (young men being dragged to prostitutes by their fathers to make them a “man”), it’s difficult to escape. Our society today has swung to the opposite extreme. All or nothing. Sex being thrown away as nothing instead of being valued.

For me, there’s so much more power in someone choosing to live a celibate life. It’s not that you don’t know what you’re missing out on. There’s nothing to run and hide from. But there’s something of value as well. It’s not an act to be disregarded by either female or male. Whether to engage or not is a personal choice. We have to stop seeing it as black & white. A choice to take a break from sexual relationships is exactly that. A Choice. Not a return to a previous state. Learn from mistakes you’ve made; regard them because they matter. It’s through our difficult times that we experience the most growth. Take life experiences & use them to grow. Embrace them.

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